Only as much work as you’ve done yourself

Early 2024, I invested in a 6 month course with InnerTrek Oregon to become a certified Psilocybin Facilitator.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into as this course offered so much more than I could have ever imagined - or needed as a facilitator.  The range of learning extended from right relationship between client and facilitator, the ethics of caring, a historical perspective on psilocybin, contraindications with pharmaceuticals and the idea of holding space (and more).  The idea of holding space was a new concept for me at that time and one that I have come to appreciate deeply as it has brought me a new perspective in how I engage with others.

One of the first things I’ve heard was that you can only hold space to the extent of the amount of work you’ve done on yourself.  Let’s break it down.  What does it mean to not hold space?  It likely means you are being judgemental, not listening, trying to fix, allowing your emotions to get swept up in others, and likely trying to save them.  Any of those sound familiar?  Ultimately, holding space is the art of being with someone - not doing for them.  It’s one of the most powerful and generous things you can offer. It’s often what people truly need, not solutions, but someone who will sit with them in the dark without trying to switch on the light too soon (so to speak).   If you have not done your own work, or understand how to hold space for yourself, it will likely be very challenging for you to actually hold space for another.  Here are a few examples of why it would be challenging for most to hold space.

We're Wired to "Fix"

Most people are uncomfortable with pain, especially someone else’s. It triggers the urge to offer advice, solve the problem, or "make it better" so we can feel better, too. But real holding space requires letting go of control and allowing someone to sit in their own process—even if it’s messy, irrational, or unresolved.

Emotional Discomfort

Being fully present with another’s pain means feeling it, too. If you're not comfortable with your own grief, anger, shame, or sadness, being near someone else’s can be overwhelming. It may unconsciously stir up your own unprocessed emotions.

Fear of Silence or Stillness

Many people find silence awkward or threatening. But holding space often involves long pauses, slow conversations, and sitting in stillness. That can be incredibly uncomfortable if you're used to filling space with words, solutions, or action.

Boundaries & Codependency

Without healthy boundaries, people may take on others' emotions or feel responsible for their healing. Holding space is not about carrying their pain—it's about witnessing it without merging with it. That requires emotional maturity and boundary awareness.

Lack of Practice or Role Models

Most of us weren’t raised in environments where people held space for us, so we’ve never seen it modeled. If you weren’t given emotional space as a child, it may not come naturally. It has to be learned—through self-awareness, practice, and sometimes unlearning.

Uncertainty Feels Unsafe

We crave certainty and clarity. But when someone is in a vulnerable or transformational space, things are often unclear. They don’t have answers. They may contradict themselves. Holding space requires comfort with ambiguity, and not everyone is okay with that.

What I learned as a Facilitator is that I needed to continue doing my own work in these areas in order to be of support to clients.  Thankfully I had started this process a year earlier, but until I took this course I had no idea of the depth of value that comes with holding space - for myself and others.  When I started The Mind Shift Network it was important to me that this concept be fully embodied as an act of creating a safe, open container where someone feels seen, heard, and supported, exactly as they are.  We are here to witness you in your own process, even if it’s messy, irrational, or unresolved.  

We believe that ​​holding space during a psilocybin experience is one of the most important and sacred responsibilities you can have, whether you're a guide, a trip sitter, or even just a trusted friend. Because psilocybin opens people to profound emotional, psychological, and spiritual states, your presence can either support deep healing or unintentionally create harm.

When journeying with The Mind Shift Network team, here’s what we will be doing.

  1. Staying Calm When you’re Not

  2. Honoring Silence

  3. Withholding Judgment

  4. Offering Comfort Without Control

  5. Managing Your Own Triggers

  6. Encouraging Integration Later

In short, we will be:

  • A grounded presence when emotions get intense

  • A quiet witness when deep inner work is unfolding

  • A compassionate listener during and after the experience

  • An emotional anchor, not a captain steering the ship

It’s less about doing and more about being—with total presence, care, and respect.

Holding space for clients in a journey experience is paramount and at the center of our service offering.  There are many out there that facilitate experiences but have they done the work and do they truly understand what it means to hold space.  When deciding to enter into journey space, have a discussion with the facilitator and go deep on this subject.  It will make the difference in the “set and setting” and affect the outcome.  We have done our work and continue to do it, so we are uniquely prepared to curate a deep healing experience for you.

Regardless of the work through Mind Shift, I am grateful that I took the course with InnerTrek as it has brought me to a place that I did not know even existed.  Being able to hold space for myself is a beautiful gift.

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